Trigger warning: This story discusses depression, anxiety and PTSD. If you or someone you know is in crisis, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
For much of her life, Abby Parnham believed getting through each day was the best she could hope for.
Growing up, the Cumming resident struggled with depression and anxiety while navigating her sexuality after realizing she was gay in middle school. At age 18, Parnham was attacked by her beloved dog, contributing to her PTSD.
According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, LGBTQ adults are more than twice as likely as their heterosexual peers to experience a mental health condition. For Parnham, those statistics reflect years of challenges she often carried alone.
“I first noticed a difference between me and my peers… around like third or fourth grade,” she said. “I just noticed that I didn’t have the same energy levels as them… I thought of things in a more negative light.”
Mental health care was not readily available where Parnham grew up in a small farming community in upstate New York. As the oldest of four siblings, she often minimized her own struggles while caring for her younger brothers.
“I kind of just thought that they weren’t that important,” she said.
By sixth grade, Parnham realized she was gay after reading a book featuring a lesbian couple.
“I just remember feeling such a sense of, ‘Oh my God, that’s me… That’s an option. I had no idea that was an option.'”
Accepting that realization was difficult as she struggled to reconcile her identity with her Catholic upbringing while facing bullying after classmates outed her.
“It wasn’t really my choice to be out either, so that was a big struggle for me, and it really affected my mental health,” she said.
Dr. TeeJay Tripp, a psychiatrist with Serenity Mental Health Centers in Sandy Springs, said many LGBTQ patients face similar barriers, including stigma and difficulty finding providers who understand their experiences.
“It’s not just a one-size-fits-all,” Tripp said. “You actually need to do a thorough biopsychosocial approach” to understand each patient’s history, environment and needs.
By college, Parnham knew she needed help. Depression, anxiety and PTSD made it difficult to keep up with classes, and medication alone did not provide enough relief. After a recommendation from her therapist, she began Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation, or TMS, at Serenity Mental Health Centers in Alpharetta, a treatment she now wishes she had started sooner.
“I really, really urge them to go forward with therapy or any sort of mental health treatment,” Parnham said. “The amount of self-growth that you will see over time will make it all worth it.”
Tripp described TMS as a treatment that uses magnetic pulses to stimulate targeted areas of the brain associated with depression.
He said patients should not become discouraged if they do not immediately find the right treatment or provider.
“Don’t get discouraged,” Tripp said. “Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn’t.”
Parnham was skeptical at first, but she said the treatment helped her feel present again.
“It just feels like a weight has been taken off my chest,” she said. “It felt like there was cotton wool or clouds stuffed in my head.”
Through a combination of therapy, medication and TMS, Parnham said she began to feel like herself again.
“It gave me my life back,” she said. “The best way I can describe it is it allowed me to see in color instead of black and white again.”
Serenity Mental Health Centers works with patients to make TMS more accessible, including helping them navigate insurance coverage. All major insurance payers now cover TMS, meaning many patients primarily face deductibles or co-pays. For those who need additional support, Serenity offers interest-free payment plans and financial assistance for qualifying patients.
Parnham said the impact extended beyond her mental health. She now feels more present with loved ones, communicates better with her wife and approaches herself with more compassion.
“I can look at myself in the mirror and say you’re going to do a good job today,” she said. “It’s like a breath of fresh air.”
Tripp said reducing stigma around mental health remains critical.
“If you feel uncomfortable with being able to express yourself, or open up, or feel like you’re going to be judged, that can shut people down right away,” he said.
Looking back, Parnham hopes other LGBTQ young people know they do not have to face mental health struggles alone.
“TMS helped me realize there was nothing to fix. This is who I am, and that’s okay.”
“There is a light at the end of the tunnel,” she said. “There is help out there.”
