“The Souvenir” is a portrait of the artist as a young doormat.Set in London in the ‘80s (i.e., no computers, cellphones, but the occasional IRA attack at Harrods), the movie features Tilda Swinton, looking as close to ordinary as you’ve ever seen her, and her real-life daughter, Honor Swinton Byrne, here cast as her movie daughter, Julie.

Imagine Shakespeare, not in love, but up to his ears in inducements from AARP.That’s the framework, more or less, for Kenneth Branagh’s “All Is True,” a look at the Bard in retirement.The year is 1613. His beloved Globe Theatre has burned to the ground and the playwright takes that as a sign it’s time to move back to the country and retire in the…um…loving?…bosom of his family.

A much better title for the squishily disappointing new bio-flick, “Tolkien” would be “Bored of the Rings.”Oh, how I wish I’d made that up myself, but it’s stolen from a National Lampoon parody that came out around 1970 when the author’s “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy was at the height of its popularity on college campuses.

Remember all those movies where the protagonists somehow switched bodies? (“Freaky Friday” — both versions — being the shining example).In the same vein, I really wish Amy Schumer and Rebel Wilson could’ve switched movies.