‘Maestro’ – Bradley Cooper portrays Leonard Bernstein in Netflix movie

By Eleanor Ringel Cater

If a rose is a rose is a rose, then why shouldn’t a nose be a nose be a nose?

“Schnozzgate” (as my pal Lee has dubbed it) centers on the online kerfuffle arising from director/star Bradley Cooper’s decision to play famed conductor Leonard Bernstein with a prosthetic nose. When photos of the physically altered Cooper turned up in May, rumblings began about “Jewface,” a term, ironically, popularized by Sarah Silverman about non-Jews cosmetically altering their profiles to play a Jewish character. 

I say “ironically” because, as it turns out, Silverman is in “Maestro,” too, playing Bernstein’s sister, Shirley. If the photos I’ve seen of Sis are accurate, Silverman looks about as much like Shirley as she does Secretariat.

My reaction is a kind of shrug. Who cares what sort of physical transformation Cooper chooses as long as his performance is convincing? Nicole Kidman donned a false nose to play Virginia Woolf in “The Hours” and wound up with an Oscar. And as far as I can remember, there was no uproar, only some wisecracks, some better intended than others, about her camouflaging her beauty in order to win an Academy Award.

Robert De Niro did more or less the same thing by gaining a zillion pounds to play Jake LaMotta in “Raging Bull” and all he got were plaudits for his willingness to embrace such a radical physical transformation. 

Grace Kelly didn’t rely on poundage or prosthetics to dowdy herself down in “The Country Girl.” However, she did mute her considerable movie-star glow to portray a plain woman married to a drunken has-been actor, played by Bing Crosby. Basically, she put on glasses and drab house-wife-y clothes (it was the ‘50s).  One movie critic purred, “She gives it everything a great actress could, one who is not handicapped by her own beauty” (handicapped?)

I hardly gave Schnozzgate a thought at first. After all, I grew up with Bernstein and his Young People’s Concerts. And as I remember it, he was considered charismatic and rather handsome (i.e., not cuddly like Arthur Fielder, probably the only other conductor I knew of at the time). 

Then I saw a trailer for “Golda,” starring Helen Mirren, and while she’s got an impressive schnozz of her own, Mirren is absolutely slathered in make-up. Haven’t heard a peep about that, aside from some grumbling that a Jewish actor should’ve been cast instead.

To which Mirren has replied, “If someone who’s not Jewish can’t play Jewish, does someone who’s Jewish play someone who’s not Jewish?” 

“There’s a lot of unfairness in our profession,” she added.

Incidentally, Bernstein’s three kids support Cooper and his transformation, stating they were “touched to the core to witness the depth of (Cooper’s) commitment, his loving embrace of our father’s music and the sheer open-hearted joy he brought to his exploration.”

It reminds me of the story told about Laurence Olivier (who famously worked on his characters from the outside in and boasted quite a nose as “Richard III”). When he was making “Marathon Man” with Dustin Hoffman, there’s a scene in which Hoffman is supposed to appear totally out of breath. To do so, the actor reportedly jogged incessantly around Central Park. 

Olivier was somewhat taken aback by this, and when Hoffman asked what he does instead, the celebrated actor supposedly replied – with great dignity – “I pretend.” 

I’m not sure how you pretend a famed profile, but if it helped Cooper achieve what he needed, well, okay by me.